Month: September 2010

I’ve been a long-time devotee of the martial arts. In fact, I’ve
studied, trained and taught in various styles, off and on, for over
35 years. There have been gaps in my training, but I always come back
to it, often with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.

Because, truth be told, there is so much to learn in the martial arts!
And the more you learn, the more you realize you have yet to learn.
So it’s truly a lifetime endeavor.

Probably one of the most fun periods in my training was when I did
full contact kickboxing. I know that sounds crazy, describing it as
“fun”. But it was!

However, I have to admit, when I first started I was a little apprehensive
about what a full contact fight would entail.

I had competed before, but only in tournament competition, where the contact is
(theoretically) controlled, and competitors who make excessive contact are
(theoretically) disqualified.

Of course, there is the potential for injury in this type of sparring, just as there is
in every sport.

But in full contact competition, you are getting into the ring with someone who
wants to knock your block off. Or, at a minimum, beat up on you more than you
beat up on them in order to win the fight.

As I trained for my first fight, I was trying to focus on all the right things in terms
of my physical and mental preparation. I had been through this type of
preparation before, so I knew what I was doing.

But the fear of getting injured kept creeping back into my head.

As I thought about and tried to analyze this fear, I realized that what I was really
afraid of was getting knocked out and embarrassed.

I thought about my opponent coming at me and really laying it on. I wondered
if I would be able to counter with a sufficient level of aggressiveness. I moved
completely away from concentrating on what I needed to do to win the fight.

This type of thinking resulted in increased apprehension and anxiety, and caused
me to get completely off track mentally. I felt myself literally tighten up and my
training suffered.

Fortunately, after a few days of this, I realized what was going on and put an
end to my negatively focused thinking.

I did this by changing my focus from what I couldn’t control to what I COULD
control.

Instead of thinking about what my opponent might do to me, and what might
happen as a result, I began to focus my thinking on what I was going to do to
my opponent.

I concentrated on the techniques and tactics that I knew would work best for
me. I recommitted myself to the physical training that my instructor had mapped
out for me.

As a result, I won my first full contact fight with a unanimous decision.

The more significant outcome, however, was what I learned from the way I
handled my fear and apprehension, and how this helps me in dealing with
the stresses, issues and problems that are so much a part of life in today’s
hectic world.

If you’re a human being, you can probably relate to the feelings of being totally
at the whim of outside forces, feeling like you have no control over many of the
events, both trivial and major, that can serve as stressors in your life.

When facing a challenging situation, you may have experienced increased stress,
apprehension, anxiety, and even fear. This is a natural reaction. We are inherently
afraid of change, and afraid of people and events that take us out of our comfort
zone.

Instead of focusing on what you could do about the situation, you probably focused
on what was being done to you, or on what might happen to you.

What I learned from fighting is that you have to focus on what you can control.

You may not be able to control all of the crazy, out-of-left field events, or even the
trivial daily annoyances, that life throws at you. But you CAN control how you think
about and react to those events and annoyances.

When you focus on what you can do, you begin to establish a method for handling
surprises, challenges, and bad news that minimizes stress and anxiety.

Through simple strategies and techniques, such as the dynamic deep breathing
taught in the Secret Power of Dynamic Energy Exercise Course, Volume 1 , you learn how to
temper your reaction, calm yourself, and regain control over your mental and
emotional state.

Focus on what you can control.

You Can Do It!

Karen

http://www.BestBreathingExercises.com

Copyright Karen Van Ness 2010

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been in San Francisco
this week at a conference.

It was fun, I learned a lot, and I got a chance to see – and meet –
a lot of people with whom I collaborate. I had to present and speak a
few times. And I tell you, no matter how many times I present, or
record a video or audio session….I still get nervous. Just part of
the game for me, just the way I roll, I guess. The few times I have
NOT been nervous before a presentation, I….. well, let’s just say
it didn’t go so well. I’ve learned that being nervous is a good sign,
whether it’s just before a sparring match in a tournament, a presentation
in front of a large group, or even a meeting with a prospect or client.

Although I still dislike the feeling I get – and, I imagine, that you
get too, before you have to speak in public.

You know, that feeling that hits you right before you go on. The “I wish
I could just blow this off and not have to do it…maybe the AV guy will
not be here to set things up so I can’t give my presentation…maybe
no one will show up and I will be off the hook….” etc., etc., etc.

Well, I got home late last night and I decided to embrace today as a
regroup / rejuvenate / catch up day.

No specific agenda; no specific schedule, other than dropping off and
picking up my son from school today. Oh, and we are going to the local
high school’s football game tonight. The town is abuzz because it’s
homecoming. We have to show our support!

But I digress. I bring all this up because of how important it is to
take time to regroup once in awhile – and I wanted to share with you a
few thoughts on this.

The time spent away from the daily routine, enjoying the comraderie of
fellow corporate warriors, and especially enjoying the unique sights of
that “city by the Bay” … all contributed to an interesting and exciting
week.

But, I have to admit, even I felt tired last night as I drove home
from the airport.

If you have been through one of those “sprint” periods, during which you
are running at lightning speed because of everything going on…or if
you face any type of chronic health condition…or if you are going through
a period of pressure, tight schedules, and stress, it’s important to
learn how to regroup.

If you suffer frequently from health problems and / or symptoms related
to stress, you may be continually preoccupied with your situation. You
lose focus on, and enjoyment of, the rest of your life. You may become
so inwardly focused that you lose touch with the people and activities
that mean so much to you.

When this happens, it’s hard to realize what a negative impact it’s having
on you, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Regardless of the cause, you need to take the time to “process” what
is happening.

This helps you move on and get going with your life again.

Regrouping is shorthand for a way of negotiating the maze of every day
challenges, as well as rising to the occasion when life throws you a
curve ball. It’s also about embracing the uncertainty of life and seeing
the adventure. About learning how to bend, not break.

Regrouping doesn’t have to involve a week or a weekend away, although
that can be very beneficial if you have the time.

It can be as simple as being “off a schedule” for a day – still working
on things but not being a stickler for the to-do list or the clock –
kinda like what I am doing today.

It can also be as simple as taking a few minutes out of your hectic day
to simply sit, breathe deeply, and be.

If you have been going through a bad spell, take a moment to reflect on
the deep reservoir of endurance and strength you naturally cultivate when
you face a chronic condition or challenging situation. You may not always
feel it’s there, but trust me, it is.

Use these few minutes to gather yourself and tap into that reservoir.
Remember that you are a survivor, you are tough. You are also flexible.
You can bend like the willow tree to adapt to current conditions.

You may not always feel in control of your life or the circumstances
surrounding it. In fact, you may often feel like circumstances control
you. But you CAN control your response to circumstances and challenges.
You can also control your response to the emotions, such as anxiety,
frustration, and anger, that are so prevalent these days.

By taking the time to regroup, you assert control at a very fundamental
level. This is one of the first steps to helping yourself overcome the
stress associated with much of modern living. It’s an important way of
asserting control — and feeling in control is a prerequisite to being happy
and satisfied with your life.

Discovering your own best way to regroup is time well spent. It’s a skill
you can use for the rest of your life.

You Can Do It!
Karen
http://www.bestbreathingexercises.com/

P.S. In the Secret Power of Dynamic Energy Exercise Course, Vol 1, I teach a very 
effective and beneficial method for regrouping and regaining control. It’s
easy to learn and only take a few minutes to do. To start benefiting now,
order your copy of the course today at http://www.bestbreathingexercises.com/dynamic_energy1.html.

Copyright, KVN Enterprises, Inc. 2010

**The contents of this daily email are not to be considered as medical
advice. Always consult a physician before beginning or changing any
health or fitness regimen.**

We’ve been discussing stress and the significant, yet often hidden, impact it can
have on your life.

Many of us go through life on auto-pilot when it comes to what we are truly feeling
inside. We become so used to our stressful environment, we become desensitized
to it. Our “normal” state is actually an unhealthy one.

I’ve mentioned that one of the first steps you can take to handle stress is to assess
your response to stress.

Your response has mental, emotional and physical components. Diving into
the mental and emotional components can take a lot of work and a lot of
time.

You have to be brutally honest with yourself about whether the choices
you are making in life are congruent with your values, and whether they are
moving you towards the type of life you want to have.

Whew! That’s some deep stuff there. C’mom Karen, I don’t have time for all
that? Can’t you give me something quicker?

Yes, I know, the type of self examination required to get at the heart of
your stress is beyond the scope of these  tips. I’ll continue to suggest
it from time to time, though, because I think we could all benefit from
a bit more introspection at times.

In the meantime, while you set out to grapple with your inner demons, you
can usually identify some simple step or action to help you either
(1) decrease the stress in your life, or (2) better handle the stress you
are experiencing.

To give you a simple example of the first type of action:

I used to always be late for meetings and conference calls. I was a principal
in a start-up IT company and wore many hats. So I was deluged all day
long (and often into the evenings) with meetings and conference calls I
“had to” attend.

Being perpetually late was starting to significantly impact my productivity.
It was very unprofessional and inconsiderate. Even more importantly, it was
increasing my stress.

So I made a decision: not only would I be on time to every meeting, I would
be five minutes early!

This small step prompted me to do a better job of scheduling. I learned to say
“No” to back-to-back meeting requests, or to meetings where I felt it wasn’t
really necessary for me to attend. This made a huge change in my experience
of stress at work.

Now, there are times when we don’t feel like we have any control over the
people and incidents that are creating excessive stress in our lives. We may
be going through a period in which we just have to suck it up and take it.

This lack of control is a hugely negative emotion. Anyone who has endured
this (which would be just about everyone) knows the feeling well. The harder you
struggle to assert control, the worse your situation seems to get.

In cases such as these, your best bet is to focus on what you CAN control.

Focus on your reaction to the person, condition or situation that is causing you
excessive stress.

One of the best ways to do this is to attend to your breathing and posture.

More than likely, when you are stressed, your breathing is shallow and rapid,
and your posture is tight and hunched.

It’s important that you take a few minutes to step back, calm and deepen
your breathing, and improve your posture.

Simply changing your breathing pattern and standing (or sitting) up straight can
help you feel better, usually within a few short minutes.

Concentrate on breathing into the stress. Start by breathing into any areas of
your body that are tight or uncomfortable. (Your face, your shoulders or your                                                                       lower back are a great place to start.)

With each breath, tell the tight areas to relax. Feel the breath you are inhaling converge upon those tight, uncomfortable areas. Feel it relaxing and soothing them.

Picturing a soothing color, such as light blue, may help you more easily relax
those tight muscles. Or you can visualize your muscles as tightly knotted
ropes that are slowly and steadily unraveling until they are completely loose.                                                                                  

I like to think of them as limp and loose like spaghetti noodles fresh out of the pot. 

As you breathe, make sure you inhale and exhale through your nose. Place
the tip of your tongue on your soft palate (the area just behind your top front
teeth). This helps connect the circuit in your body that allows the energy
you are producing from your breathing to circulate throughout your body.

This technique works well when you are experiencing stressful conditions. It’s
also used to help patients or accident victims deal with pain.

Breathe into the tight or painful area. By doing this, you confront the tightness,
discomfort or pain in an intelligent way, instead of being victimized by it.

It’s like mental jujitsu. Rather than attacking head on (which usually increases
your symptoms or sensations of pain), you are enveloping it and taking control
of it.

Likewise, rather than attacking the stress you are feeling, assert control over
your breathing and posture first. Then you can control and reduce your perception
of stress.

If you think you don’t have time to do this type of thing, or that it is too simple
to work, think again. This simple exercise only takes a few minutes. But it can
positively impact the rest of your day.

In the long run, it could add years to your life.

You Can Do It!

Karen
http://www.BestBreathingExercises.com

P.S. Cut through all the stress and mental tension, and relieve tight muscles
naturally and easily with the exercises in the Secret Power of Dynamic Energy
Exercise Course. The movements are easy and take only minutes to do!
You can get more information and order your copy today by visiting
the Best Breathing Exercises website.

There’s no doubt most of us are feeling stressed these days.

Our days and nights are filled with responsibilities and tasks. Through technology,
we have become available 24 / 7.  We have to spread our attention across an
incredible array of demands, tasks, challenges and worries. It’s easy to get
sidetracked and mesmerized by all of the information available to us.

If you have any kind of health problem, either chronic or acute, you’ve got one more
thing to add to the stress pile.

And there’s no question that stress, and your response to it, can have a
significant impact on your health.

We can get so used to living in a stressful environment that we become
desensitized to it. Many people live in a low grade state of chronic “fight or
flight”.

In this state, our bodies secrete excess amounts of the fight or flight hormones,
such as cortisol and adrenaline. We tense up, our muscles tighten, and our
breathing becomes more shallow. We may eat poorly and gain weight,
causing us still more stress.

These reactions to stress steal away our vital energy and weaken our immune
system. They also cause us to feel less in control and less confident. This
change in mental outlook can be a vicious cycle, causing us to spiral down
into increasingly frequent and consuming periods of anxiety, worry,
impatience, and fear.

The key to getting the upper hand on stress is self-examination. Are you
living your life in such a way as to maximize harmony? Are your actions
congruent with your most closely held beliefs? Are your actions congruent
with what is good for you?

This is a huge question that requires some thinking and introspection
to answer truthfully. Most of us, if we are being honest with ourselves, will
see that we are creating most of the stress we feel by the poor choices and
decisions we make.

I’m not a psychologist, although psychology was one of my majors in
college. (I sound like one of those actors doing a commercial, in which
they say, “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV”….) So I’ll not dwell on
this right now (perhaps in a future post).

Introspection and understanding ourselves is very important. But getting to
the point where you can be brutally honest with yourself takes some time.

Personally, I have a bias for action. I’d rather talk about what I can do now in
a proactive way. I’ve found that you can achieve dramatic results in controlling
stress by taking some simple steps. So let’s discuss a couple to get you started.

The first step in controlling stress is to understand that life is difficult. Life’s
not perfect. There will always be stress of some sort.

Many years ago, Dale Carnegie (famous creator of “How to Win Friends and
Influence People”), made the point that, as we pass through the decades of
life, each of us will encounter sadness and misfortune.

It’s how we react to this sadness and misfortune that determines how
stressed we will feel and, by extension, how happy we will be in our lives.

Mark Twain commented when he was older that, as he looked back over his life,                                                                             he realized most of the things he worried about never came to pass. He felt he had                                                               wasted literally years of his life being preoccupied about things that might happen,                                                                      or things he couldn’t control.

The next step is to begin to understand your own response to stress.
Do you thrive on it, or does it beat you down?

Part of your response is physical in nature. In fact, you can observe yourself
and determine how well you are handling life’s stresses — with no introspection
required. Simply observe yourself at random times of the day.

For example, take a look at your posture. How are you standing or sitting? Are
your shoulders, neck and back tight or uncomfortable? Are you hunched over?
Do you frequently stand or sit with arms folded (a protective mechanism)?

Also attend to how you are breathing. Is your breathing rapid and shallow?
Do you feel tightness in your throat or chest? Discomfort in your stomach?
Do you sometimes hold your breath?

Your breathing is involved in every aspect of your life: physical, mental,
emotional, even spiritual. Poor breathing contributes to a huge number of
health problems. It also causes you to live at a lower level of vitality and
prevents you from achieving your full potential.

My belief is that you first have to face up to your present condition. By facing it,
acknowledging it, and breathing into it, you begin to assert power and control
over it. You then can move on to creating, first mentally, then physically, the
reality you want to have in your life.

In my next post, I’ll discuss some more steps for gaining the upper hand
on stress.

You Can Do It!

Karen

http://www.BestBreathingExercises.com