Let’s Get Off to a Great Start
Happy New Year to you, Dear Reader!
I’m sorry I haven’t posted since early December. The end of 2023 brought family tragedy, family illnesses, emergency trips home…at times it all seemed overwhelming. However, we managed to decorate the house and choose and decorate a beautiful Christmas tree. Fortunately we did this right after Thanksgiving, while our son was home from school, so we were able to honr and enjoy this portion of our holiday traditions. The rest of December seemingly went to hell and back. However, we spent a nice New Year’s Eve together. Finally some calm family time to rest and begin to mend.
And now we move into 2024.
This time of year, many folks like to make resolutions, often around things such as losing weight, getting fitter, getting more organized, earning more money, doing better at the job, etc., etc., etc. Some of the more enlightened among us may place emphasis on improving relationships – spending more time with the wife / husband / partner, spending more time with the kids, calling Mom every week – or on more intangible goals such as experiencing more joy this year. Others stick to very tangible goals like “finally” cleaning out and organizing the garage or the shed.
Whew! I’m getting exhausting just typing all that!
There are as many ways to tackle resolutions or goals or aspirations as there are human beings. However, I’d like to share a couple key strategies that might be helpful this time of year. And they work together synergistically which is really cool.
I tend to “overschedule” myself in terms of goals, activities, and what I wish to complete or achieve in the coming year. I also tend to NOT hit all of those goals and fall short on some of the activities. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that, while I may have a list of 8 to 10 major things I would like to achieve during the year, I will not actually achieve anywhere close to that number of goals unless I FOCUS.
I have also realized that I won’t achieve an important goal or objective (or resolution) unless I make the activity related to that goal a HABIT.
Yes, FOCUS and HABITS are the keys.
Not very sexy, I know. Not sounding fun.
I can hear the moans and groans now. “Can’t I just bask in the glow of my super awesome resolution, Karen? Focus and habits just don’t sound very appealing!” I feel your pain. Bear with me. It’s not that bad.
And when you give up the fantasy of completely transforming your life without any effort or patience or perserverance, you will find my recommendations below actually make things EASIER on you! So read on, my friend…
The One Thing
Gary Keller (of Keller-Williams Realty fame) and Jay Papasan wrote a book in 2012 titled “The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results”. I highly recommend it.
The key idea of the book is to focus your efforts on a smaller, but more substantial, set of goals and objectives. Even just ONE critical goal or objective. Then build the habits that help support your achieving it.
Their key question, what they call “The Focusing Question”, is as follows:
“What’s the ONE THING I can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
At the beginning of each year, ask yourself this question with the “Big Picture” in mind – meaning, what is the one thing that will be most critical to YOU. Questions such as “Where am I going? What target should I aim for? What do I really want to do with my life?” This can be for the new year or aspirationally what you would like to manifest over the coming three to five years (or longer).
You can also check in at regular intervals during the year with a Big Picture review of how you’re doing against your most important goals or dreams, and then course correct as needed. (And you will almost always have to course correct, that’s just the nature of doing big things.)
Then plan this year, this month, this week, and today, by asking the “Small Focus” question: “What must I do right now to be on the path to achieving the big picture?”
In other words, focus on one or two or three big things…then work your way backwards to what you will do each month, week, and daily to help you reach that big thing.
The key takeaway I get from this is to FOCUS better. Instead of 10 different “priorities” for the year, or month, or week…I am titrating down to the top three things during each time frame, then thinking about and identifying the supporting objectives and habits to support me and make it easier for me to reach my big goals.
Develop 1 to 3 Good Habits
A ton has been written over the past five to 10 years about the importance of HABIT and developing good habits, so I won’t spend too much time on them here.
As an individual who is not always as “self-disciplined” as I think I should be…and who then berates myself when I miss the mark…I offer another approach that might work better – for me and for you.
Just as you focus on one top goal or achievement for the year (or top three goals at the most), focus on building one key habit. Think about the most important habit you could develop that would make achieving your goal easier.
For example:
-Your top goal, the outcome you want the most, is to get fitter and lose weight. Of the things you can do to help achieve this, what would be the most important habit you could build that would make this easier?
Think here not only in terms of the cumulative effect of the habit over time. Think also in terms of whether you will stick to the habit.
So, if you haven’t exercised at all in several years, you might not want to say you will “run three miles” every day or life weight four times a week, or something crazy. Rather, set a lower benchmark that become your “floor”, the least you will do – the effort you will COMMIT to doing, come hell or high water.
A good example would be to establish the habit to walk every morning, or every evening. Or to do some type of physical activity every day, even if it’s just some stretching or a few minutes of qigong and breathwork.
Or start out by doing one pushup every morning, without fail. Then build from there. Just like eating Lays potato chips, you probably will not be able to stop at just one pushup. You will want to do more. But committing to ONE pushup, or ONE short walk, or ONE MINUTE of breathing, as your baseline, will make the habit easier to build.
I’ll have more to share about habits, as well as a super fun method for helping you FOCUS on your most important goal – your ONE THING – and actually make it happen this year – in my next post.
Until then, start asking and pondering the focusing question: ” What is the ONE THING you can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
You Can Do It!
Dr. Karen